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My Anxiety, Depression, & OCD Story | How I Learned To Live With It & Fight It.

My Anxiety, Depression, & OCD Story | How I Learned To Live With It & Fight It.

The thing I’ve fought with the most since I was even 10 or 11 years old was my issues. Honestly, they weren’t really issues because now I can look at it and think that hey there is a little beauty in it because if you have anxiety, depression, or OCD or even all 3 like I do then you have to think of it this way. There is beauty in having these illnesses because you can still get up and fight everyday, it makes you stronger at the end of the day because you got through an attack or because you’ve made it this long and fought the fight for this long and still got through it. You have fallen down a thousand and one times from this and yet gotten right back up again. Anxiety and depression and OCD doesn’t make you,  your personality is what makes you. These illnesses will try to take you down but what you do is just stand right back up again and say you hit like a bit**. 

Honestly, I knew way back when I couldn’t stop cleaning my room or fighting with my best friend about something staying in a certain place that I had some sort of obsessive thing I just couldn’t figure it out until i got older. Back in elementary school, even high school I would stay locked in my room because I was just so depressed because I would obsess over the dumbest and smallest things that it was honestly insane. There were so many things that at the end of the day didn’t even matter but at that time I would constantly obsess over it and worry about it and it would get me down and depressed. I got bullied really badly in elementary and high school and so it had me really down and depressed all of the time and it caused a lot of anxiety because I wouldn’t want to go to school because of it so I would beg for my Mom to let me stay home and skip that day all because I didn’t want to face it. It was a nightmare. These are things that no kid should ever have to face or go through or teenager. They can be cruel and terrible and a complete nightmare. 

Eventually in adulthood your bound to have at least one anxiety or panic attack, everyone at least has one even if they don’t have anxiety or depression or OCD it’s going to happen. It’s a terrifying feeling and  you feel like it’s never going to end. One thing I’ve learned to teach myself during an attack is to remember this is only temporary, give it 24 hours if that long and you’ll feel 10 times better. Honestly by then it probably won’t be on your mind unless it gets to your OCD. When I have an attack I usually like to write, because it takes my mind completely off of whatever was bothering me that day. Whether it be in my journal or just a random document on my computer, writing out how I feel helps me a ton and is how I’ve taught myself to get through the attacks and to keep me positive. 

When I stumbled across blogging and discovered it, I was obsessed. Honestly, it gave my OCD something GOOD to obsess over instead of all of the negative things that I used to all the time. I used to overthink and obsess over why a boy didn’t like me in high school or why the guy broke up with me back then or even why a friend would hurt me that way. Now, I obsess over cleaning and my blog and what template and layout I love, what I want to write and how much I want to write, the images I want to make and use. I’m not telling you guys to just go make a blog and everything will be better, no. I’ll be honest with you guys I still have breakdowns to this day every now and then but I know how to stop them and maintain them and that is by blogging and if I can’t blog at the moment of the attack, music is my second option because it takes me out of my own head sometimes. EDM, is my lifesaver. 
But in all honesty, in the end you have to find what takes you away from everything and what keeps you out of attacks and away from them just like I did. Blogging was my answer but that doesn’t mean it will be yours everyone is different. Just find what makes you happiest whether it be writing, drawing, painting, gaming, sports, cleaning, cooking, baking, organizing, YouTube / filming, working, fitness / working out, journaling, whatever it may be if it helps you in all honesty you should do it. That is one thing I’ve taught myself is to never let it get the best of you. You control your thoughts, not OCD, not anxiety, and not depression. 

You and only you can fight this and I know you can. Keep the faith and stay strong, you’ve got this. 

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